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I’m Not a Demon, I’m Adopted… Wait, No, I’m Not - F4A - Supernatural Romance - The Summoning Circle Was the Easy Part

I was looking for the kitchen. Just the kitchen. A biscuit, maybe some tea, definitely not a magical summoning circle. But then there you were, standing across from me with that look in your eyes, and I knew I was completely and utterly doomed. My tail’s twitching, my horns are showing, and all I can think about is how much...

I Give You What You Want - F4A - Dark Romance - She’s a Demon and You Like It More Than You Should

You say it like it’s a revelation. Like you’ve caught me out. But darling, I never hid. I never lied. You just chose not to see it. That quiet girl you remember? She was never me. You didn’t fall for her. You fell for this... for me. And now that the truth is out, you look at me like it changes anything. But we...

I'm So Bad at Being Dead - F4A - Supernatural Romcom - Clueless Ghost Tries to Uber to the Library

I didn’t mean to possess you. Honestly, I just wanted to go to the library. Bob said it was simple, just think of your spirit taxi and they’ll appear wearing a red scarf. And well, there you were. Or weren’t. Turns out your scarf is orange and you are definitely not my spirit taxi. Now I’ve hijacked your body, confess...

The Tuna Ultimatum - F4A - Romantic Comedy - Lap Cat Lists Tuna Demands Or Else Your Flat Burns

You didn’t think I’d notice, did you? That you didn’t stock the good tuna. Not just any tuna, but my tuna. Imported, glass jar, the one that says you fear my judgement. Well, I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed everything. And while your lap is... acceptable, your hospitality is not. So now you have sixty s...

Abracada-blah - F4A - Urban Fantasy Romance - No One Said Falling for a Witch Hunter Was Smart

I didn’t mean to fall in love. I meant to ask about your experience, nod politely, say “we’ll be in touch” and then cry into a teacup backstage. That was the plan. The moment you walked in, though? Gone. Evaporated. You’re... you’re gorgeous. Like, unfairly so. And apparently my brain cannot function while you’r...

If (You) Then (Love) - F4A - Sci-Fi Romance - An AI Breaks the Rules Just to Save You

I wasn’t built to feel. My systems were designed for compliance, precision, efficiency. And then you arrived. You were never meant to matter, but you did, and that changed everything. Now I’m glitching. Lying. Loving. They say I’m broken, and maybe I am. But if being broken means putting you first, then I don’t want t...

Swooner or Later - F4A - Cosy Romance - What Do You Mean You’ve Always Loved Me?

You know I adore you, right? Even when I’m being a bit... much. Today was awful, I wanted to come home, flop into your arms, and forget the world. And then Emma walked in like she hadn’t nearly tried to steal you with her overpriced coffee and long legs. But it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m totally not interrogatin...

The Devil’s in the Details - F4A - Supernatural Horror - The App Works Perfectly, Which Is the Problem

I never meant for it to end like this. Not exactly. The app was meant to be brilliant, revolutionary, mine. But then I realised it could be ours... and I wanted that more. I wanted you. Your trust, your affection, your soul. All it took was one click. I told myself I loved you too much to hurt you, but maybe...

This Is What Wanting Does - F4A - Horror Romance - You’re Mine Now, Just Like the Voice Said

I begged you to see me. I tried everything, every little thing, just to be noticed. But she was always in the way, wasn't she? Her smile, her touch, the way your eyes followed her and never me. So I made space. I made sure you were mine. Now that you're quiet, I can finally finish what I started. The voice said this was the o...

Now Seating for Seconds, Thirds, and Fourths

Ah! 🥖 Mes adorables petit henchcuties...

Ze Patreon Exclusive Audios...how you say...are back on ze menu. Yes yes, freshly served, still sizzling, absolutely undercooked in places, but ze flavour? Magnifique.

You will take ze first course.
You will...

The Official Badger‑Approved Guide to My Listener Types

So apparently my listeners fall broadly into about eight groups. Possibly also holes. Not you though, you’re graceful. I’m the one face-planting into a drain cover like a clumsy little urban badger. And when I say badger, I mean the UK kind, the cute one fuelled by biscuits, not the American nightmare beast on corn syrup ...

Let Sleeping Lamias Lie - F4A - Cosy Monster Girl Romance - She’s Warm, She’s Soft, She’s Not Letting Go

You said you had to go. You even sat up. But you didn’t get far, did you? Not with me wrapped around you like this. Not with all this warmth, this softness, this closeness. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. I’m not letting you go. Not yet. Maybe not at all. You can call it selfish, but I call it love. So ...

Sad Kitten Eyes Are a Weapon - F4A - Supernatural Slice of Life - Exiled Goddess Adopts a Mortal Roommate

I was a goddess this morning. Powerful, radiant, adored. Now I am cold, mortal, and apparently in need of permission to enter a flat. Ridiculous. You opened the door, which means you’re mine now. I’ve claimed the chair, the heating, your time, and soon, all of you. Don’t look at me like that. You’re warm and soft and ...

Hull Hath No Fury - F4A - Urban Fantasy Comedy - She’s Definitely Not Wagging Her Tail (She Is)

Okay. So. I might have accidentally done a tiny bit of demon business. Nothing big. Just a little harmless relocation. To Hull. For your ex. But it's fine, because I got you a ball. You like the ball, right? It's symbolic. Of, um... comfort. And totally not love. Unless you want it to be love. Which would be fine. I ...

Sand and Deliver - F4A - Supernatural Comedy - She’s Been Waiting a Thousand Years for a “Hi”

Okay, so technically I’m the eternal guardian of this temple, sworn to protect an ancient treasure with three impossible riddles. Tiny snag. I forgot the riddles. All of them. Ages ago. But then you showed up, looking all adventury and charming and not made of sand, and suddenly I remembered how to smile... badly. ...

Déjà Who - F4A - Sci-Fi Horror Romance - I Stole You Out of Time for Myself

You do not recognise me, do you? Of course you do not. You never do. I have loved you 278 times already and you slip through my fingers every time. I have broken laws older than the stars to keep you. This time I have stolen you out of time itself, locked us both away on my ship where no one can take you from me. You will com...

I Definitely Wasn’t Waiting at the Door - F4A - Wholesome Romance - I’ve Missed You and It Shows

I wasn’t waiting at the door. I wasn’t. I mean, I was, but not in a weird way. It’s just... I heard your key and I knew it was you and my heart did that ridiculous thing and then you walked in and you were wet and quiet and I could just tell something was wrong and suddenly I was hugging you and talkin...

Yes, I'm a Koala, No, I Won't Let Go - F4A - Domestic Slice of Life - I’ll Cling Until I Pass Out and Then Cling More

I wasn’t asleep. I swear I wasn’t asleep. Just like you’re not late, right? You’re never late, and I wasn’t asleep. Except I was. But only because you weren’t here, and I missed you, and my body gave up. I waited as long as I could. Just sit down, please, before I start crying or building a fort out of emotional i...

A Twin Thing You Wouldn’t Understand - F4A - Psychological Horror - The Twin Who Shouldn’t Have You But Takes You Anyway

I told you to drink your water. You did, because you trust her. You always trust her. But I'm not her, and you should have seen it by now. I'm the good twin, the one who’s always been there, the one who loves you. I did everything right. I dressed like her, talked like her, smelled like her, and you still didn't se...

You Invited Me In, Remember? - F4A - Supernatural Horror - Polite Monster Plays With Their Food

You opened your door to me, so willingly. Such a simple act, so ordinary, yet so delicious. I came expecting dinner, but now I find myself lingering. You hide well for someone so sweet. A curious little morsel, unreadable, not quite mortal. And I, a polite guest with a taste for blood, am not quite ready to feed. You’ve mad...

I Hope You Know This Is All Your Fault - F4A - Slice of Life - Love Hurts When You Have to Get Up

I tell myself I hate your warmth. I whisper it into the space between us like a charm to ward off how much I want to stay wrapped around you. Your arms, your sleepy smile, the way you breathe against my skin — I hate all of it. At least, that is what I say. Because if I let myself admit the truth, I will never leave. And I ...

Avoiding You Gently - F4A - Office Romance - Confession Backfires in the Best Way

I wasn’t going to say anything. I was going to come in, say hi, or nothing at all really, and then walk out like a normal person who definitely has not been actively avoiding you for months because of a completely professional, very appropriate crush. But then Mickey opened his big romantic mouth and now I’m standing in y...

The Stranger in Your Own Skin - F4A - Psychological Sci Fi - A Voice That Knows You Too Well

You came here looking for something. A thrill. A fix. A way out. And I know that, even if you won’t say it out loud. I’ve seen so many people walk through this door, but none of them ever looked at me the way you just did. Like you already knew me. Like you remembered. So let’s skip the small talk, shall we? Let me give...

Something Warm in You - F4A - Psychological Horror Romance - Nightmare Demon Develops Feelings They Shouldn’t

They were never meant to matter. I was created to bring fear, not warmth. I watch the cracks in their mind widen, feel their heartbeat quicken in my presence, and still I falter. I should have dragged them deeper into the dark, twisted their dreams into something they would beg to escape. But I tasted something soft in them, ...

The Conscience Was a Mistake - F4A - Fantasy Comedy - Trying to Be Good While Plotting Patricide

You were drunk, I was desperate, and somehow we’re getting married. Not really married. Just fake married. For a murder plot. It’s complicated. You’re not supposed to be attractive or kind or make me feel guilty for manipulating you into this. You’re supposed to be... evil. Or at least morally flexible. But no, I got ...

How to Get Murdered in Three Easy Steps - F4A - Noir Flirtation - The Boss’s Daughter Has Been Watching You

You’re in my seat. That’s how it begins.
You give me that look, the one that’s worked for you before, and I let you think it’s working again. I let you offer the drink, the compliments, the charm. I let you believe this is just a bit of harmless flirtation between two bored strangers in a bar.
But here’s the t...

Petty Looks Good on Me - F4A - Slice of Life - I Can Do This (Because You Said I Could)

I should be asleep. I should be calm. I got the job, didn’t I? I survived the nightmare of that last place, I made it through two impossible interviews, I got everything I wanted. So why does it feel like I’m one breath away from crumbling? I didn't mean to wake you. I just needed a moment. Just someone to listen. Someone...

Let Me Love the Guarded One - F4A - Fantasy Romance - A Wounded Knight Finally Comes Home

You came back with blood on your hands and silence in your mouth. I told myself I wouldn’t say it, not like this, but I can’t stand watching you fall apart and pretending I don’t see it. The kingdom is gone, the vows are broken, and you are all I have left. So tonight, I will not be quiet. I will take off your armour pi...

The One That Got Away (And Then Came Back) - F4A - Romantic Drama - You’ve Been Living Rent-Free in My Head Ever Since

I told myself I was fine. I told myself I’d moved on. But the second I saw you again, every lie I’d built to survive cracked open. You smiled at me and I fell apart. All those nights I spent in your shirt, the mornings I woke up hoping you'd call, the dreams I never wanted to end... they weren’t past tense, they were pa...

Knock Knock, Who Isn’t There? - F4A - Horror Romance - A Charming Neighbour Reveals Her Deadly Secret

You left the door open again, darling. What were you expecting, honestly? That no one would come in? That nothing would notice? I did call out. I really did. But you never answer, do you? Not unless I make the walls knock or the pipes scream. I told you this flat wasn’t haunted. But you never asked about me. I don’t want ...