heatherbeck

Long Weekend?

The disclaimer came from an Instagram that I posted literally a minute ago. I’m glad this picture has a place to live. I think it’s mysterious, and fun, and in the same tone as the stuff I usually post. If you’re reading this right now, I hope that means that you enjoy this kind of stuff, and that it makes it fun.

Redrum

I don’t know why, but I’ve watched “The Shining” like, literally five times during This Modern Age. It’s always been one of my favorite movies, but it wasn’t until viewing number four or so that I realized that it’s actually a really good quarantine movie. I don’t think I’m being haunted by any sort of super...

Auguries.

Oh, anachronimity. You know, I have a storage room deep in the American south. I still pay rent on it. And with each month it goes by, and with each rent check that I pay, I forget, more and more, what the fuck is actually in there. I suppose it’s all of my material possessions. But... if somebody were to show up here right...

Cheeers to the Freakin’ Weekend.

What are weekends, again? I can’t remember. This bra just got a starring (or should I say… Supporting?) role on the Instagram, so I thought I would show it chilling out with a cold Spanish brew. Say what you will, but she works hard, and deserves a little downtime.

I think I might be going crazy. I just anthropomorp...

Low-Hanging House Bra?

So, one of you lovely lovelies just left a pretty cool question in the comments: “What is a low-hanging house bra?”

This, my dears, is a low hanging house bra. Every woman who doesn’t pass the pencil test has one. Go ahead, ask around. Basically, it’s the outrageously comfy sweatshirt of the bra world. The one t...

Fitting In.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually gotten “stuck.” I think that kind of scenario is something that mainly finds its home inside of breast expansion stories.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some tight squeezes. Phone booths are rare, but they do still exist; it’s actually been a long time since I’ve been...

Yee-Haw.

My apologies, everybody. I thought I could finally overcome the buttons on this shirt, but they are apparently stitched in with some sort of fiber that is stronger than adamantium. How dare it not submit to the threat of Natalia and Olga!

Anyway, part two of that video from before. Thought y’all might be intrigued. �...

Notes of Geisel?

Where in the hell has this blasted year gone?

Has the whole damned thing been for naught?

Yesterday was March, and soon it’s November,

With gunpowder, treason, and plot.

But nothing changes, out here, very much.

The cows, they room, and they poop.

The grass, it was green, not ...

Busted.

Recently, I’ve taken up a little social experiment. Something fun, frivolous, and silly to while away the time, and provide a little joy.

Here’s how it goes. Basically, if one of my Patreon lovelies goes through the trouble of sending me an article of clothing, I will wear it, and I will take a picture. I have cert...

A Little Bit of Ragtime.

For no other reason than I was listening to some Scott Joplin, and decided it would pair up rather nicely. A small shred of completely stupid goofiness. Hope your weeks are off to good starts.

(Mini) Memoir Update, July 21

Hi guys! So, before I forget, one small update, just so you’re in the loop.

Originally, I said that the book is going to be printed by Blurb, using their “imagewrap” technology. This is one of those books where it’s a hard cover, but the cover is the image. I’m sure you’ve seen this type of book before.

Sweet Dreams.

My work schedule has been kind of jacked lately. For those out of the loop, I write content marketing copy. It can be a little soulless sometimes, but whenever possible, I try to write compelling copy for products and services people actually want and need.

In the past, I’ve had my fair share of bullshit products to ...

Good Cats Eat Ants

I’m not sure if any of you saw this today, but I posted this picture on Instagram just a little while ago. Within about 30 minutes, it got taken down. Violation of the TOS, with that pang of discomfort that comes with not knowing if this will result in your account (finally, and somehow inevitably) getting blocked.

F...

Memoir Update - July 9

Hi, guys! It’s been a little while, so I just wanted to give y’all a bit of an update on this memoir.

First of all, the actual text itself is coming along really well. I’m gonna pick out a couple of excerpts that I’ll pull up here in the next week or so, but I’m sure, if you’re already signed up for this boo...

Bay.

A few things. 

Ukulele is friend.

In one episode of The West Wing, President Bartlet tells one of his generals to teach his new daughter how to whistle, because her mother won't. This is true. I learned how to whistle from my grandad. We sucked on lemons together in the summer sun to get our mouths to pucker ...

“Ya Lost Today, Kid. Doesn’t Mean You Have To Like It.”

That quote doesn’t really have anything to do with anything. It’s just from that first scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.” That movie came out in 1989, when I was about five, and I can’t say that I saw it for the first time until a bit later. But, when I did, it was around that age where most of us start ...

Bring Out the Broom

The last months of spring had come and gone, and still, the leaves and dust had to come in from somewhere, and eventually, a sweep would be necessary, when she finally got around to it. 

A line of jars, on the back wall. A place her eyes fell every day, but didn't linger. Just the place to stash a clev...