Hello lovely patrons!
Here is another episode of Regular Features that literally only exists because of you. That sounds like a joke but it is true actually because without your kind and generous support we just wouldn't be able to do this podcast.
And you can take that to the bank!
Love yo...
2022-01-16 12:28:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello patrons! It's me again, the podcast. Hi.
From our screaming throats to your hungry ears, it's another episode of Regular Features, the only podcast that's got us in it.
In this episode, Joe chronicles the greatest number you've never heard about unless you read the episode title. Steve unlocks an exciting ne...
2022-01-08 16:38:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Betty White is dead. We don't talk about that in the podcast at all. I'm only putting this here cause it just happened and I was hoping that someone finds out she's dead by reading this.
Imagine that.
Imagine your grandkids asking you "Grandmas...dos yous remembers hows yous founds outs Betty Whites wa...
2021-12-31 20:16:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy Crambleneir patrons!
In sihd shhue cramblrmhotj, Joem cmrma a visit vfrom "Secret Santana". Gav hoesgojs anfs an incident with a DDP courier. Amd Steve, well, he gocrob a charades qjid quid quiz caled charades.
Thank you for all your support this year. We legit love you readers, and we wish you all the best ...
2021-12-24 23:27:45 +0000 UTC View Post
If I had one guess, I'd guess you're stuck in a pipe. Look at you, all stuck in that pipe. I bet you want some grease, don't you? You little pipe rat! Little pipe rat want some grease. Well NO, no grease.
Not until you've listened to Joe wonder about the etymology of Plemons. And certainly not until you've heard a...
2021-12-08 18:54:20 +0000 UTC View Post
A mere 5 weeks after the fact, it's finally here – a comprehensive run-down of everything that Gav and Joe got up to at our favouite awards ceremony, The Kebabbies. Marvel as we almost get turned away, gasp at Gav's reactions to those who don't share his political leanings, and turn off in horror as you realise the depths o...
2021-12-02 09:55:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Heya patrons xx
We're sorry, but this is not the hotly anticipated kebab awards episode. That's happening next week now. There was a small legal issue we had to iron out involving, well, a kebab, naturally, plus so much libel it would make a judge's powder wig whizz out of the courtroom window and fly back to the specia...
2021-11-27 00:22:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Heeeeyyyy patrons. Teehee! How are you doing?
Make no bones about it, it's episode 466 of the Regular Features podcast. Hey, you in the back there with the bones, what are you making? A diorama of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand? Oh okay. You're definitely not making bones about this episode are you? No? O...
2021-11-14 16:47:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Three men enter the arena. Three men leave. It's fine in the arena. Nothing bad happens. One man has an ache in his shoulder, but he had that before he went into the arena. He thinks he may have slept on it. Good arena!
HEY. In this episode, Log hypnotises a nurse into doing a Fred Durst into her frilly blursts. Steve i...
2021-11-06 11:48:50 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy Sunday to you, patrons, our dear dear patrons. Oh god we love you.
In this episode, Log goes hands-on with Superman's newfound sexuality. Steve goes pants-off when his French horn lessons are interrupted by Scream himself. And Gav is open-mouthed as he brings us a thrilling update from the British Kebab Awards. 2021-10-24 18:44:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Giddy up, patrons, because it's another episode of this freakin' thing we do.
In this one, Steve's Discord account got hacked by spooks. Log is going to reclaim his rightful title of Lord-or-Lady of the Dance. And Joe debuts the latest instalment in the long running series of interactive sports experiences about squaaaa...
2021-10-17 18:10:10 +0000 UTC View Post
As we have done every year for the last 9 years, Gav and Joe are sitting down for an extensive, exhaustive, extremely good talk through this year's British Kebab Awards. Who will win chef of the year? Why is there no garlic/chilli award? Will Alfred Molina endorse us? All of this and more in a very special episode of Regular ...
2021-10-07 11:47:57 +0000 UTC View Post
HELLO PATRONS xxxx
As people who absolutely freakin' love magpies always say: one for joy, two for joy, three for joy, four for joy, five for joy, six for joy, seven for joy, eight for joy. Nine? Ah what the heck, that's for joy that is. Ten is also for joy, why not. And eleven to boot! Twelve... hmm, best not get greed...
2021-09-30 22:25:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Patrons!!? There's no time to waste. In this episode Joe concocts his very own VHS cassette horror anthology. Steve reports his very own fading feature memories. And Log purports his very own sock tipperies and trickories.
Is that even what purports means? There's literally no time to google "define purports". I'm sorry...
2021-09-21 22:51:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Howdy pardners. It's us again.
Now. What if you dragged a big wet carrier bag full of lukewarm biryani to a concert? What if you had a nice time at a spa? What if you watched yet another Marvel TV show in the hope that maybe this one, THIS one, might be good?
Only Regular Features can answer all three questions at...
2021-09-13 21:19:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Get this reader on the table, we need to operate NOW! Nurse, pass me a syringe full of Matt forgetting if he's ever owned a watch. I'm going to make a two-inch incision and insert Joe griping about his comedy heroes being sad about death. WE'RE LOSING THEM. We're going to have to do it- Nurse, I understand your reservations b...
2021-09-02 08:45:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey patrons! Get a load of THIS one.
The three original feature boys return for a very special reunion episode, never to be repeated, just like that time The Beatles went up on the roof and refused to come down until Linda McCartney invented frozen vegan sausages.
Matt revisits his thoughts on Torchwood. Log treat...
2021-08-29 22:36:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello, you beautiful patrons!
Thanks so much for all your massive support, your direct contributions mean that we can make podcasts like the above that will live on long after we and everyone we know are dead.
What a comforting though.
Team Featch x
2021-08-22 19:19:34 +0000 UTC View PostHello bees.
Welcome and thank you for joining our beautiful hive.
The best/only way to access the Beehive is to connect your Discord account to your Patreon profile page here. Once those are connected, y...
2021-08-15 16:30:31 +0000 UTC View Post
According to the big Regular Features egg-timer on the roof, it's been exactly ten years since we invented podcasting. To celebrate, we've given ourselves a facelift. The unparalleled Sonny Ross has created new podcast art. The Patreon has an exciting new tier. And as for us? Well, we're only speaking in Spanish from now on.<...
2021-08-15 10:52:24 +0000 UTC View Post
The snap of the magnet releasing its psychic grip, the brief peel of tacky rubber, the delighted squeak of the hinges, a rush of cold air, a waft of something green, the chemical tinge of a bad houmous, a row of eggs watches on. This is it baby, you've opened the fridge for a look.
In this episode, Log opens his fridge ...
2021-08-08 18:51:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Did you know Kenny Rogers came up with the line "you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" while he was doing his laundry, it's true ask anyone.
Anyway! In this episode, Log gets imprisoned in his home by an NHS, Steve challenges the boys to a spelling contest, and Joe tries to flog an office chair. Th...
2021-08-01 15:23:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Patrons, you must be at least THIRTY FIVE years old to read this:
Here at Regular Features, we like to push boundaries. That's why we're the first podcast to ever discuss BDSM without giggling or being sick into the microphone. In this episode, Log talks about hardcore leather strap velcro kink sex, then Joe, apparently...
2021-07-23 22:52:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello there patrons, how ARE you?
Have you ever wondered how we learned how to do all of our incredible comedy accents? Well in this episode, we'll teach you how! Log is offering every reader a free taster of our five day accent school, which will turn YOU from a "croikey doikey wadda crocodile mister" into a "hey I sla...
2021-07-10 20:20:38 +0000 UTC View Post
Hmm, how can we put this delicately? Well... blimp.
2021-07-03 23:10:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey patrons!
In this hot little potato wedge of an episode, Joe remembers what it was like back before politics and games journalists ruined E3 and it was all about good, old fashioned eggs. Matt remembers what it was like when it when a hundred million Pikmin were crushed underneath a Ronaldo. And Steve, in an audaciou...
2021-06-27 20:17:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Want to feel old? Put your dad's big shoes on and walk around the house saying "where did I put my mortgage in this, the year 1978".
Then listen to Gav discuss the finer points of classic survival-comedy Castaway, which was released in 2000 and challenged a pre-9/11 America to wonder what it would be like if Tom Hanks h...
2021-06-11 01:14:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey Patreons! I'm on a secret pirate island now, sorry!! Sorry everyone.
In this one, Steve gets his coronavirus vaccination. Joe, desperate to keep up with Steve's trailblazing lifestyle, gets HIS vaccination too. Then Log launches a Regular Features podcast network, just to keep you on your toes.
2021-06-07 01:17:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello Patrons! Heyyyyy. Hi. Okay.
In the name of podcast innovation, we've switched to releasing new episodes at random intervals so you NEVER know when you're gonna get slapped around the ears with our demanding, wet voices. (No not really — sorry, things have been hot and intense these past two weeks, please bear wi...
2021-05-29 10:52:24 +0000 UTC View Post
Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Now imagine it's a speedboat, and you've broken every maritime law there is, and you're on the run from the boat police. Now stop, calm down. None of this is happening, and you're listening to Regular Features actually.
Log has written his ...
2021-05-16 21:22:27 +0000 UTC View Post
