Author Daecrist

Villains Don't Date Heroes 51: Sneaking

I kept my face carefully schooled to an impassive and slightly uninterested neutral. The last thing I wanted was to smile and give the many security cameras that were no doubt watching me right now a show.

As it was all they were going to see was a slightly altered face thanks to the holoprojector mounted on my neck. An...

Varis in Today Is A Good Day to Dine

I like to play around with AI tools to generate art and came up with a couple of images that were inspired by Varis's outfit in chapter 40 of Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend. Now I'm sharing with you! Hope you like it!

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 40: Dinner Interrupted

Varis stared at me for a long moment. Her hand tensed and then went loose a few times on the flatware she held. It didn’t quite look like the stuff we had on Earth, but it was pretty clear what it was meant for.

My grandma would’ve called it the silverware, but I didn’t think there was any silver in this stuff. 2025-05-05 02:38:06 +0000 UTC View Post

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 39: Today Is A Good Day to Dine

I took a deep breath as I stared at the entrance to the dining room. At least I assumed it was the entrance to the dining room. I was staring at a couple of ridiculously ornate double doors that were jet black and had the same silver and gold inlay as the stuff I saw back in my gilded cage.

“Are you quite well?” Arv...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 38: Getting Ready

I frowned as I stared at the outfit. I definitely didn’t see this thing here earlier. Where did that come from?

"Arvie."

"Yes, William."

My frown only deepened at that.

"Why are you calling me William? I told you my name is Bill. Nobody has ever called me William before."

"I thought I would try...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 37: Interstellar News

Harris shifted back and forth a couple of times. A tiny drop of sweat ran down one side of his face. I could see all of it in perfect detail because the screen I was looking at was truly massive.

It had to be if it looked small in this room. Everything was an order of magnitude larger in here because everything was so d...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 50: Infiltration

I hated sneaking around and using disguises. I was Night Terror. The greatest villain Starlight City had ever seen, which meant I was the greatest villain the world had ever seen.

Fialux said it best. Sure she was trying to build me up, but still. She was the greatest hero the world had ever seen. She knew her shit.

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 49: Date Night

"I keep telling you, all I would need to do is show up outside the Applied Sciences Department, go into the lobby, start spinning around really fast, and drill down into things."

I stared at her, blinking. Then I took a bite of the spaghetti I'd cooked for dinner tonight. We were sitting in front of the big board in my ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 36: Entertainment

“You know. Calling me a bucket of bolts isn’t terribly nice. And that’s a gross understatement of exactly what goes into creating a Combat Intelligence in the Livisk Ascendancy.”

“That’s so nice for you,” I said, doing another circuit of the room.

This time I was looking at the gold and silver lines ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 35: New Digs

I held my breath and wondered if that would work. There were a lot of people who were still under the mistaken idea that hacking something meant a lot of typing really fast on a keyboard that beeped every time someone’s hands danced across a panel. That it was all very technical stuff.

Nobody ever stopped to think tha...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 48: Cockroach

Something slammed against my face. Stars danced in front of my eyes. Like those stars literally danced in front of my eyes as the shielding mechanism that was set up in the collar on my super suit activated to prevent me from taking too much damage.

Also, the wiring and fiddly bits that I had running up and through my h...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 34: Polite Awakening

Darkness surrounded me. That seemed wrong. I felt like I should be bathed in a warm light. Or should I be at my grandma’s house?

Attention human. Prepare to return to consciousness.

No. I didn’t want to be bathed in a warm light at grandma’s house. The last thing she probably saw was the shadows get...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 33: Inner Strength

I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t going to show weakness in front of the blue sparklies.

I looked up to the livisk. Her eyes danced with something that might’ve been amusement. It was hard to tell because she was an alien, for all that we had a common ancestor somewhere along the way that meant we could smash bits.

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 47: Accidental Death

I stared at the spot where the disassociated molecules that had been Dr. Lana up until a moment ago were still floating through the air. Still coming this way.

I could totally see it because there were some residual sparks as little bits of her atomic makeup floated through us like a gas cloud from Star Trek. W...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 46: Excessive Force

Blasts from the directed beam weapon flew this way and that, and I suddenly found myself in a situation where I was trying to get in front of those beam weapons rather than dodging them.

Though I thought I recognized someone from my Surviving A Heroic Intervention class who was running as fast as their feet could carry ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 32: Medbay Meet Cute

Varis frowned. Wasn’t that her name? I tried to think of what she said her name was, but it was hard to hold onto everything that happened before I got into this med tube.

I wondered if something had happened that was making the recent past so hazy for yours truly. Did I take a head injury and I didn’t remember it? ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 31: Waking Up

Warmth. I was bathed in a glowing light that enveloped me and felt like everything was right in the world. Talk about a new feeling.

Or maybe it was a feeling that hadn’t hit me in a good long while. I don’t think I’d felt that way since I was a kid visiting my grandma’s house on the lower continental mass of Vo...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 30: Explosive Reunion

I'd heard the sound of a bulkhead rending and tearing all around me twice before. The first was when I was on a training mission in a training barge with a cargo hold full of heavy shit that was meant to provide the feel of piloting something much larger. The thing was just big enough that it gave that feel when it was fully ...

Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Original Cover

Hi all! Figured I'd share a little something this weekend. This is the original cover I did for Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend.

Sadly, this was deemed as too risqué for publication on Royal Road. Which I disagree with, but it's their playground so I'll play by their rules. Varis got a new outfit that covered more skin a...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 29: Trapped

"Why do I get the feeling that doesn't mean anything good for any of us in here?" Rachel asked, looking at the display in the holoblock.

"Is that a rhetorical question, or are you actually asking?" I said, hitting her with a glance.

Everybody else, including red shift and blue shift, were staring at the display in...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 28: Today Is A Good Day to... Sleep?

"Okay, then," I said, frowning as I got a good look at what was going on all throughout the corridors of 72. "Maybe today isn't a good day to die."

"The day is still young," Sanderson said.

"Young for you," I said, looking to the backup comms officer and grinning. "This is late into the night for us, and I'm chasi...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 45: She Is Risen

"Okay. So you defeated the scary robot that was blocking the entrance, and you managed to kill Dr. Lana, which I'm pretty sure is straight-up murder," Selena said.

"It wasn't straight-up murder," I said.

"You sent that thing after her, and it exploded and blew her up. It was premeditated and everything," Selena sa...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 27: Boarders

"Attention all hands," I said in a shipwide broadcast. "Prepare for boarders. Repeat, prepare for boarders."

I paused for a moment and thought about that. I was getting a sense of deja vu, and it wasn’t from my previous command. I tapped the shipwide button again.

“Right. I already told everyone to prepare for...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 44: Odd Reception

The receptionist in the main office of the goddamn Applied Sciences Department looked up with the practiced disinterest of someone who was used to seeing people coming and going all day long. The smile froze on her face as she got a good look at me standing there in my Night Terror outfit. 

My mouth quirked up in a...

Author Update: Writing Villains Don't Date Heroes! Again

So as of yesterday I started writing new material for Villains Don't Date Heroes! This is one of my most successful projects in my decade as an indie writer. It started out as a porn with a plot story back during the first Kindle Unlimited erotica boom when I was desperate to write anything that would make enough money to get...

Villains Don't Date Heroes! 43: New Sheriff

The sun shone down on a bright day at the university. The sound of construction went on steadily off in the distance where the school was putting together some of the buildings CORVAC crushed on his rampage through the city. 

Luckily the university had a pretty hefty insurance policy in case of super powered disast...

Thank you to everyone who's joined me here!

I wanted to send out a quick thank you to everyone who's joined me here on Patreon. I started my professional writing journey eleven years ago publishing stories on Amazon. I've always made the vast majority of my money writing romance and romance-adjacent.

Which was fine, but when I hit the ten year anniversary of goi...

26: How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 26: Head Case

I took the measure of everyone, and they looked surprisingly like they were ready for combat.

Nobody is ever truly ready for combat. That was something I learned the hard way when I decided to step out of the CIC on my old ship because communications were down and I couldn't reach the Marine detachment. 

I st...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 25: Mortally Wounded

I stared at the holodisplay for a long moment, and then I looked at all sorts of emergency notifications that suddenly came flooding into the CIC as the ship’s computer caught up with what we were seeing from that external display that came from what the foldspace sensors were picking up.

Funny how you could see that ...

How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 24: Active and Engaging Dynamic Realtime Ship to Ship Experience

"Can you target where they're sending out those gravimetric waves?” I asked.

"Looks like it's coming from a hardened location deep inside their drive section which is heavily shielded and armored, so probably not,” Smith said.

"I was afraid you were going to say something like that," I said, frowning as I look...