No, it ain't Pat's diary, it's the return of my column! You asked, and I answered. Thinkin' this will be a weekly thing! If I didn't get to you this time, I got lots more saved up for next.
Here. We. Go!
-- -- + -- --
How much is too much to spend on OnlyFans subscriptions? ...
2024-05-15 21:11:33 +0000 UTC View Post
I have been exposed to Wisconsin several times in the past few years, and my fondness for the state and its people has surprised no one more than myself. In this multi-part Author's Tier series, we'll take a look inside my trips — water parks, supper clubs, cultural events, and a death in the family — as I pl...
2024-05-12 22:37:32 +0000 UTC View Post
And in this corner, the return of Animalicious.
2024-05-10 19:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
At noon PDT today, the extra panels from this strip's production will post in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers.
An aged member of my extended family recently announced his intention to re-enter the dating pool after several years' absence. (It is not certain if this truancy was noticed.) When as...
2024-05-10 17:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Platinum Knucklehead-Chochacho Spencer Harris created this riff on those Philippe strips where he writes little stories at a typewriter. I liked it so much that I asked to post it here, and he was all too happy to share it with you. I humor myself that the tone of this type of strip is a delicate thing to capture and sustain...
2024-05-09 17:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
In the following illustrated account, Ray hires San Francisco celebrity chef Jerry Ontario of RESTAURANT 10-SION to recreate McDonald’s food in his home. Unfortunately, the entire thing threatens to collapse when Beef shows up and starts making a fuss over an upsettingly authentic ingredient, which insults Ray’s temperame...
2024-05-08 18:59:58 +0000 UTC View Post
Friends of the Library,
What happens when a time-traveling, Gilded Age robber baron accidentally strands himself in modern day Portland, Oregon? In this expansive and colorfully-peopled story, our subject demonstrates all the vicious instincts which won him his industrialist fortunes, but quickly come...
2024-05-05 17:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
It occurs to me that maybe I should have been placing these "blooper" pieces in the Author's tier, since they're part of the writing process, and not "in-universe" per se. Too late now, I suppose, but does anyone in the In-Universe tier not want to see fourth-wall-breaking stuff? Please let me know.
(Edited to a...
2024-05-03 19:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Since I don't want to put any spoilers here, let's just figure out where Ray went when he was out not locking his computer. He's got either a wax paper soda cup from a fast food restaurant, or a sporty reusable workout cup, so we can't know for sure that it was an errand in the service of diabetes. Perhaps he was out for a lo...
2024-05-03 17:00:12 +0000 UTC View Post![Achewood post [fixed] Big Anniversary Surprise! Plus scary photo of dead opossum, etc from patreon](https://img5.xxx4fans.com/storage/11/qc/si/66b995-019e8383-6d6a-7412-a0f3-e7e917325d74.png)
Dear Author's Tier-chacho, I have a big surprise to unveil this weekend, and I am telling you about it first.
One year ago, on May 5, 2023, the Achewood Patreon debuted, and with your generous support I was able to inhabit, for the first time, the happy, healthy, and sustainable production mode that had eluded me the p...
2024-05-02 15:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
From a file dated March 27, 2009.
2024-04-30 17:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Last saw the light of day in Assetbar. File dated December 30, 2008. Archive pieces posting M-Th this week.
2024-04-29 22:31:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Post your questions for Ray’s Advice Column in the comments below, and if something about your predicament tugs at one of Mr. Smuckles’ many differently-angled heartstrings, you may feature in either an In-Universe column, or in the weekly strip itself! Become canon, impress your frie...
2024-04-27 20:22:00 +0000 UTC View Post
I was intrigued by the angle of Ray putting Pat's MLM out of business by competing with a superior product wherein you could cry onto actual famous crying faces, but ultimately didn't want to make this into a whole storyline. It was once a crutch of Saturday Night Live to base a whole sketch on one funny idea (what staff writ...
2024-04-26 19:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Personal note at bottom.
A full-page collection of outtakes and unused panels from this week's cutting room floor will post in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers at noon Pacific today, as is custom.
Inherently sensed in a friend's cheery announcement that they have ...
2024-04-26 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
It's true, sometimes I reverse-engineer a blooper or "unused panel" after completing the original work. It's a fun wind-down, now that the pressure is off. "Shadow Puppets" is no exception, except there is an even deeper truth to today's excavation: I built the whole thing off a false start (in the business, we call this "jun...
2024-04-19 19:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
(As is now custom, visit the In-Universe Tier or Author's Tier for the rejected panels—and the original 2007 inspiration artwork—from this strip! Posting at noon Pacific Time.)
In order for this strip to validate, it is time for me to declare that Philippe is a river otter...
2024-04-19 17:00:10 +0000 UTC View Post
This is a heavily-updated and newly-illustrated version of a piece that originally ran in the Assetbar on September 4, 2009. It features minor appearances by aquavit, egg whites, and Emeril LeGoinegasque.
2024-04-18 21:05:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Last weekend I flew down to Stanford for the annual reunion of the Chaparral, the campus satire magazine where I first cut my teeth as an aspiring intellectual miscreant. The Internet as we know it did not exist in the year of my matriculation, 1993; my dream was to spend the rest of my life in a smoke-filled room fu...
2024-04-18 16:29:14 +0000 UTC View Post
These panels were posted to the tune "Now That I Know," by Ted Lucas. If you look it up and listen to it, you will have heard the perfect song for cookin' chili to.
2024-04-12 19:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Oops! Posted this one a day early! My bad. Leaving it up.
(The blooper panels will still post Friday in the In-Universe and Author's Tiers, to still have something on that day, for everyone who likes a Friday treat.)
Music Theory People, even though ye here be lambasted (...
2024-04-11 17:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
As promised, at the appointed hour.
2024-04-05 19:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
(As is becoming custom, watch the In-Universe and Author's Tier for the rejected panels from this strip! Posting at noon Pacific Time.)
ALT TEXT: Each of us has a public life, a private life, and a secret life. The secret life is where we wrestle with our base, unvarnished, and uncorrected animal impulses, hot from the ...
2024-04-05 17:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
They say to lead with a feature image of a person, but they also say to make it a good image of an appealing person, so I was torn. Here you go, it's me sorting through a massive pile of remaindered denim.
What is boro? Read on.
Last year Ben (sukajan guy and frequent creative collaborato...
2024-04-04 17:25:21 +0000 UTC View Post
INGREDIENTS (see photo)
15.5oz can chickpeas, drained
2 tbsp lemon juice
1/4c tahini
1 clove garlic, smashed
1/4c olive oil
1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp salt
- - -
TECHNIQUE
Food processor, high, two ...
2024-04-02 17:46:14 +0000 UTC View Post
Last Sunday eve, as I was stretching out an Achilles that threatened to go berserk after a spate of rain-sodden, increased-distance runs, I remembered that I'd completely blanked on the abdominal portion of my last gym visit. Always mindful of impressing Coop, and believing that in certain narrow angles of light I was seeing ...
2024-04-01 21:43:29 +0000 UTC View Post
As promised.
2024-03-29 19:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
I think I had five versions of every panel of this one. Watch the In-Universe tier for those "director's cut / bloopers & outtakes" panels later today!
If you have deep knowledge of Roast Beef and Molly, let's guess together, below, what dishes they had ordered at Scobler's Family Dining that day. I will chime in a...
2024-03-29 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
