thehardtimes

Hard Digest October 31: Early Access Elon Musk, Sex Pistols v. Ramones, Revenge, and More

Elon Musk Offers $1M to Anyone Who Signs His Birthday Card

By Sean Fallon 

BUTLER, Penn. – Billionaire Elon Musk unveiled...

MVP: Michael Jackson "Thriller"

It's the spookiest day of the year, so today we break down the spookiest video of all time.

Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA&list=RDsOnqjkJTMaA&start_radio=...

Hard Digest October 31: Halloween Early Access and More

Mom Warns Crust Punk Son That Some of His Drugs Might Be Laced With Candy This Halloween

By Sam LiButti 

ROCHESTER, N.Y. —...

Hard Digest October 29: Werewolves, Early Access Bahaus, Fred Durst, Davey Havok, and More

Werewolf Criticized After Leaving Himself in Hot Car

By Matt Husser 

TUCSON, Ariz. — Local werewolf Steve Callahan was unde...

Hard Digest October 28: Early Access Sexy Cops, Freak On a Leash, King Diamond, and More

Conservative at Halloween Party Thinks Regular Cops Already Pretty Sexy

By Peter Ferrarese 

BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local conse...

Hard Digest October 27: Early Access Peter Steele, Body Horror, Selling Out, and More

Self-Conscious Metalhead Nervous After Finding Peter Steele Issue of Playgirl Under Girlfriend’s Mattress

By Robert Butler 

Hard Digest October 26: Early Access Project 25, Black Metal, Couples Costumes, and More

Project 2025 Council Vows to Capture Captain Planet and the Planeteers and Destroy Them Once and For All

By The Hard Times Staff  2024-10-27 01:30:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Hard Digest October 25: Early Access Mariah Carey, Haunted Pasts, Halloween Parties, and More

Coked Up Music Exec Pitches “All I Want For Halloween is You” to Mariah Carey

By Chris Bratton

LOS ANGELES — Local blitzed ...

Hard Digest October 24: Early Access Layoffs, Skeletons, Molds, and More

Corporation Boasts About How Diverse the Latest Round of Layoffs Are

By Drew Gigis 

DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local software firm Bl...

MVP: Ramones "Pet Sematary"

Take a trip to the graveyard with Bill and Dan as they break down "Pet Sematary" by the Ramones. There will be thrills, chills, and lots of tight denim pants.

Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJWFsZ_YUc4

Hard Digest October 23: Early Access B-List Celebrities, Rage Against the Machine, Dedications, and More

Nation’s B-List Celebrities Announce Plans to Randomly Appear in Ad for Online Casino App

By Trevor Graham 

LOS ANGELES �...

Hard Digest October 22: Abercrombie CEO, Early Access Time After Time, Weed Gummies, Hobbies, and More

Former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Appears in Court Shirtless for Sex Trafficking Charges

By Ben Friedman

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. �...

Hard Digest October 21: Early Access Fugazi, Mist Monsters, Dead Punks, and More

Fugazi Cancels Highly Anticipated Reunion Tour Due to High Ticket Sales

By Bob Kerr

WASHINGTON — Legendary post-hardcore band Fugazi...

Hard Digest October 20: Early Access Drum Solos, Goth Moms, Biden, and More

Local Dad Unknowingly Performs Greatest Drum Solo of All Time on Belly of Labrador Retriever

By Livy Berry

MILWAUKEE — Local su...

Hard Digest October 18& 19: Warped Tour, Early Access Hank Williams, Tacos, Feminism, and More

Crust Punk Enters “Only Listens to Hank Williams” Stage of Lifecycle

By Steve Packosky 

PITTSBURGH – Local crust pun...

Hard Digest October 17: Early Access Van Repair, Crust Punk Legends, The Smiths, and More

Second Guitarist Only Kept in Band Because He Knows How to Repair Tour Van

By Dan Kozuh 

BRAINTREE, Mass. — A leak revealed th...

MVP: DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince "Nightmare On My Street"

Today Bill and Dan break down a video that was lost to time for 30 years thanks to litigation from New Line Cinema, so don't be upset with yourself if you've never seen this video before. Join us as we break it down for you and we deal with this nightmare together.

Watch the video: 2024-10-17 08:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post

Hard Digest October 16: Early Access Sommeliers, Stephen King, Ian MacKaye and More

Punk Sommelier Can Tell Exact Month Milk in Fridge Went Sour

By Carson Kile 

LOS ANGELES — An astounding display of skill a...

Hard Digest October 15: Walgreens, Early Access The Weakerthans, Jam Sessions, and More

Walgreens Announces Mass Store Closings After Locking Buildings Behind Glass Cases

By Ben Friedman

DEERFIELD, Ill. – Walgreens a...

Hard Digest October 14: Early Access Elon Musk, Inheritance, Con Artist, and More

Elon Musk Has Bright Vision of Future Where Humanity Thinks He’s Worst Person on Multiple Planets

By Tim Sheard 

BOCA CHICA,...

Hard Digest October 13: Early Access Halloween, Bank Heist, AA Meetings, and More

HR Rep Already Knows Who’s Going to Get Fired for Wearing Blackface for Halloween

By Ben Friedman 

OMAHA, Neb. — HR gene...

Hard Digest October 12: Early Access Rammstein, JNCO, HOA Laws, and More

Lifelong Metalhead Enters Third Consecutive Decade of People Assuming He Listens to Rammstein

By Steve Packosky 

BOULDER, Co...

Hard Digest October 11: Early Access Murder By Death, Nostaglia, Frank Grimes, and More

Murder by Death Celebrates 1,000,000th Metal Fan Disappointed

By John Danek 

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Cult Americana legends Murder ...

Hard Digest October 10: Early Access Border Policy, TMBG, Ben Gibbard, and More

Experts Warn Trump Border Policy Will Block Thousands of Canadian Girlfriends from Attending American Proms

By Dan Kozuh

ALEXANDRIA, ...

MVP: Dokken "Dream Warriors"

It's October, and that means we are legally obligated to cover a spooky music video. So this week Bill and Dan enter a deep sleep to break down the video for Dokken's "Dream Warriors" where they take on Freddy Krueger. Give it a listen.

Watch the video: 2024-10-10 13:12:26 +0000 UTC View Post

Hard Digest October 9: Early Access Rare Records, David Lynch, K9 Cops, and More

Study Reveals Rare Record You Wanted Was Indeed In Bin You Left Store Before Checking

By Joe Rumrill 

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Bre...

Hard Digest October 8: Early Access Bret Michaels, David Bowie, Anti-Homeless Designs, and More

Bret Michaels’ Bandana and Cowboy Hat Launch Custody Battle Over His Head

By Doug Kolic

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Bret Michael’s lo...

Hard Digest October 7: Early Access Cannibal Corpse, Joe Bonamassa, and More

Heartwarming: Metalhead Proposes to Girlfriend During “I Cum Blood” Introduction at Cannibal Corpse Show

By Chris Bowen 

C...

Hard Digest October 6: Early Access Lowes, Riverdance, Support Groups, and More

Lowe’s to Begin Selling 14-Foot Glenn Danzig

By Ryan Dondero 

MOORESVILLE, N.C. — Lowe’s executives announced plans to...

Hard Digest October 5: Early Access GG Allin, Bucket Hats, and More

GG Allin Chia Pet Has Very Different Set of Directions for Fertilizing Soil

By Chris Bratton 

LITTLETON, N.H. — A recent rel...